Hey,
So this 28 year old model friend goes on a 3rd date with a 40 year old, George Clooney type who’s a successful real estate investor. He takes her out to Bouley and spends $1000 for dinner, $600 of it on a bottle of wine. She's pretty into him but because he’s smiling so wisely she thinks he thinks he’s definitely getting it tonight.
After dinner he drives her to her apartment in his Range Rover and they start making out madly in his car. She stops and says she'd like to invite him up but in the future and on a more special occasion. He hits the recline button on his drivers seat, unzips his pants and says "it's now of never." She bolts out the door and says "later dude."
Since there's a lot of dating experts out there, let me ask you this question. What would have been a better response than the “it’s now or never” move?
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6 comments:
I would have spent much less on a hooker.
"YO, check out THESE goods, ho" usually does it for me...
that story has had me laughing for the past hour.
your short stories are really hilarious. r they actually real?
thought u might appreciate this one:
When I did my taxes this year I found out that I spent over $14,000 on Dates last year. Most of that was spent on dinner and drinks in Manhattan. Now don't get me wrong, I had some very good times, some great sex, some good conversations. Hell, I even made a good friend along the way, but mainly I came away from the date feeling extremely disappointed and with a lighter
wallet. Date by date it's not THAT much money but it all adds up fast!
In the past I had a habit of always grabbing the check and paying whether my date was hot or not. Whether we clicked or not. Basically I felt ashamed to let her pay. I also kept and interesting statistic and even I was surprised that only 5% of my dates even offered to pay - yes you see that right- 5%!
One girl in the entire year offered to pay for the entire check. A very nice gesture. But of course I paid and doubt she was sincere. In light of all
this evidence I knew I had to change some things. So, this year.....
I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First I adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a
credit card and ask them to open tabs for us. HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the girls I meet miss that one
too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her cell phone or is in the
bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you know the MasterCard "priceless" series of commercials? Well, let me tell you, you won't
understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food (that they
would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing to encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause SHE'S PAYING.
Oddly enough when she realizes that there are individual bills there will a few prolonged moments of discomfort. But don't panic. Something that took me by surprise is how many girls suddenly have to 'go to an ATM'. I can't quite
figure out if it's because their cc's are maxed out on shoe purchases or that they are trying to guilt me into paying. Well, probably a combination
of both, but I'm remorseless after doing this for nearly 3 months now. Which brings me to my date last night...... omg.....
Of course the classy nice Irish pub I suggested wasn't good enough for her. Nah...she needed to go somewhere more trendy. Ok, no problem. W? Hudson? Meatpacking Dist? SoHo? Where we going? So she picks a midtown hotel bar.
Nice place. Little stuffy. Drinks, not bad and Macadamia nuts on the lounge tables (complimentary) nice! Of course I went thru my usual routine, handed the server a credit card asked her if we can start tabs she said, 'sure' and
took the card. 1 drink in her cell phone rang. She apologized, (she had to get it). So I moved into confirmation mode. Our waitress even missed the
'tabs' part but she adjusted on the fly and told me no problem. Boy, let me tell you - the girl I was with could really throw down the drinks. She was
drinking scotch that was older than the hotel we were in. Of course I encouraged her the whole way. She was like, wow they have Johnny Walker BLUE label! I was like, 'you ever try it?' She's like....'Nooooooo!!!' I'm like, 'go on....just get some'. She's like 'are you sure'. I'm like, 'look, if you want it, just get it!' So she ordered one, then another, and finally one more..... wow she was probably more than a little drunk. I stuck to my Stoli and Soda, splash of Cran.
When the BILL(S) came she sobered up fast. I caught a glimpse of hers, 5 drinks plus a little finger food $319.00 I think it was. She looked shocked and sick to her stomach when she saw 2 bills. Guess she thought I was buying. Think again. (The old me woulda soaked up the bill but steered her away from the Blue) I had 4 drinks, no food and a great buzz. Pricey Stoli, but overall still a good value (i ate a ton of free macadamias and almonds) $36.00. Damn I thought, that BLUE label will get you every time. Of course she did more than the traditional fumble through her purse. Her face was beat red and she was speechless. She left the bill on the table and excused herself for the restroom. I had already paid and was sucking on some ice. The waitress was looking concerned. I told her, 'look'. Sure enough my date was heading out toward the front door. I slowly grabbed my coat as the waitress ran after her. Then security or a bellman grabbed her at the door and a small shouting match ensued. Can you imagine, she was trying to leave - without paying!
Well, I didn't stick around to see what happened. All I saw was the poor waitress standing just inside the front door with a small cocktail tray. She
did look concerned but not panicked. A doorman and bell hop had the girl by the arm, outside and was semi-forcing her back inside, she wasn't getting away from this bill. I paid my bill. I had my receipt. But I couldn't help wondering why she ordered 3 Johnny Walker Blues, doesn't she know that shit is expensive? Then I wondered if they had to arrest her while I had another drink at my local Irish pub.
I haven't heard from her again. Too bad, she was pretty cute too :(
Hey Cass ! He would've been better off getting himself a call girl for $500 to $1,000.00 if he's going to use the now or never approach ! He should've just said give me a call and just drive off. These days a Yuppie has to have 3 or 4 women to make sure he's getting laid ! Besides, since he's looking for Ms. Right Now, not Mrs. Right...he definitely should have a 1 month or 5 to 6 dates rule with the sexy model types !
Lastly Cass, if she's truly drop dead gorgeous and a honest to goodness model, then 4 star restaurants and fancy cars is her comfort zone ! You see, for me, it was '02 and my Russian model called me up near the winter holidays to say she's jetting around the globe on the private jet of the Cirque du Soleil owner, Cass !
Moral to the story...I tell all the would-be players this: " NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ! " A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN WITH A SEXY BODY CAN BE WITH ANYONE AND GO ALMOST EVERYWHERE, CASS !!!
First off, it depends what mood she's in, if she had 1 or 2 drinks in her, she probably would not mind, as long as everyone is safe.
Unfortunately men always feel if they spend a little $$$ then they getting some. So sad and predictable. I probably would have done the same thing she did and left him hanging with a hard. haha
He could have given her some really soulful eyes and said “fine…then just stay here with me longer…I don’t want you to leave yet”.
If done right, during the proper setting and mood, she would be hard pressed (no pun intended) to reject such a sweet sentiment by walking away…so she’d be faced with a choice of staying in the car longer even though a perfectly good apartment was right upstairs, or just caving in and inviting him up.
Of course that’s the loser approach. I’d have just gone with “bitch, get down on my cock, or the door stays locked!”
Or “well if that’s how it is, I hope your bulimic, cuz I’m gonna take back that dinner and wine…and I got just the thing to make you gag”
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